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Become Informed

   Find out all of the facts you can about domestic violence. Call the local program in your area, Family Resource Center, that assist battered women and their children. You can also call the statewide toll-free Virginia Family Violence & Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-838-8238.The following are two good books to get you started.

• Jones, Ann and Susan Schechter, When Love Goes Wrong: What to do when you can’t do anything right. New York: Harper Perennial, 1989. Click Here to order from amazon.com.
• Deltufo, Alisa, Domestic Violence for Beginners. New York: Writers and Readers Publishing, Inc., 1995. Click Here to order from amazon.com.

Lend An Ear

   Letting your friend know that you care and are willing to listen may be the best help you can offer. Don’t force the issue, but allow her to confide in you at her own pace. Never blame her for what’s happening. Remember that your friend must make her own decision about her life. Focus on supporting her right to make her own decisions.

Share Community Services

    When she asks for advice on what she should do, share the information you’ve gathered with her privately. Encourage her to seek help from a local battered women’s shelter. Many battered women first talk to marriage counselors, psychiatrists, or members of the clergy. However, not all professionals can provide the help needed by abused women.

Focus on Her Strengths

    Battered women live with verbal as well as physical abuse. Your friend is probably told over and over by the abuser that she is a bad person, a bad wife, and a bad mother. Without positive feedback from outside the home, she may begin to think that she can’t do anything right and that something is wrong with her. Give her the emotional support she needs to believe that she is a good person. Help her examine her strengths and skills. Emphasize that she deserves a life that is free from violence.

If She Decides to Leave

   Help your friend make a plan to be safe. She may want to call a local domestic violence hotline or battered women’s shelter. Shelters can help her look at her options. If she decides to leave, a shelter may be the safest place she can go. Sometimes shelters don’t have enough room for all the women and children who need their help. Your friend may need to rely on family or friends for temporary housing.

Virginia Family Violence & Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-838-8238 (V/TDD)
“We’re here for friends too!”
 

Franklin County Family Resource Center
PO Box 188 • Rocky Mount, VA • 540-483-5088 (TTY available)
cindytreadway@franklincountyva.org